Question 1

What is the difference between grief and bereavement?

Accepted Answer

Bereavement is the experience of losing someone important to you. Grief is the emotional, physical and practical response to that loss.Grief may involve sadness, longing, anger, guilt, anxiety, numbness, exhaustion and difficulty concentrating. It can also affect sleep, appetite, confidence, relationships and everyday routines.

Question 2

Is there a right or wrong way to grieve?

Accepted Answer

No. People respond to bereavement in different ways.Some people cry frequently, while others rarely cry. Some want to talk about the person who died, while others need privacy. You may want company one day and prefer to be alone the next.Your response may be influenced by your relationship with the person, the circumstances of the death, your health, your beliefs, previous losses and the support available to you.

Question 3

Do people really go through five stages of grief?

Accepted Answer

The five stages are sometimes used to describe possible grief experiences, but they are not a timetable or a set of steps that everyone must complete.You may experience some of the feelings associated with the stages, experience them in a different order, return to them repeatedly or not recognise them at all.Grief is usually more individual and less orderly than a stage-based model suggests.

Question 4

What does grief feel like?

Accepted Answer

Grief can feel different from hour to hour. Possible experiences include:shock or disbeliefnumbnessintense sadness or longinganger or irritabilityguilt or regretreliefanxiety about the futuretirednesspoor concentrationchanges in sleep or appetitefeeling detached from other peopleloss of motivation or purposeYou may also experience moments of calm or enjoyment. These moments do not mean that you have forgotten the person.

Question 5

Why do I feel numb rather than sad?

Accepted Answer

Numbness can be a natural response to shock. It may allow you to deal with immediate practical matters before the emotional impact becomes clearer.You do not need to force yourself to feel or express grief in a particular way. Feelings may emerge gradually, suddenly or unevenly.

Question 6

Why does grief come in waves?

Accepted Answer

Memories are connected to routines, places, sounds, smells and expectations. A song, photograph, television programme, familiar journey or empty chair may suddenly remind you that the person is no longer present.A painful wave does not mean that you have returned to the beginning of your grief. Over time, the waves may become less frequent, shorter or less frightening, although reminders may still affect you.

Question 7

Why do I sometimes forget that the person has died?

Accepted Answer

Your mind may still expect the person to be present, particularly if you shared a home or long relationship. You might briefly think you need to tell them something, expect to hear them enter the house or reach for the telephone.The repeated recognition that they are no longer there can be painful, but these moments are a common part of adjusting to a significant loss.

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