Sleep Problems in Later Life: How to Switch Off at Night
Updated: Oct 3
Free information from OlderPeople.co.uk
This guide provides general information and practical suggestions for older adults coping with bereavement and emotional wellbeing. It is not a substitute for individual medical advice or emergency support.
A poor night's sleep can make everything feel harder.
You may struggle to fall asleep. Wake several times during the night. Or find yourself awake long before you wanted to be, unable to get back to sleep.
Sleep problems become more common as we get older, particularly during times of bereavement, anxiety, illness or major life changes.
The frustrating thing is that worrying about sleep often makes sleeping even more difficult.
The good news is that there are gentle ways to improve your sleep without putting pressure on yourself to have the "perfect" night's rest.
Why sleep changes after bereavement
After losing someone close, bedtime can become one of the hardest parts of the day.
The house is quieter.
The empty side of the bed feels painfully obvious.
Night-time leaves more space for memories and worries to surface.
You may replay conversations.
Think about the future.
Or simply miss having someone beside you.
These experiences are very common. They don't mean you're doing anything wrong.
Keep a regular routine
When you've had a bad night, it's tempting to stay in bed longer or go to bed much earlier the following evening. Unfortunately, this can make your sleep pattern even more unsettled.
Try to get up at roughly the same time each morning, even after a poor night's sleep.
Your body generally responds better to a regular waking time than constantly changing your routine.
Create a gentle wind-down
Give yourself permission to slow down before bed. For the last hour or so, try to choose calming activities rather than stimulating ones. You might:
read a book;
listen to quiet music;
enjoy a warm drink (without too much caffeine);
do some gentle stretching;
listen to a relaxing podcast.
Dimming the lights and reducing screen time can also help signal to your body that it's time to sleep.
Put tomorrow's worries somewhere else
Many people find that worries become louder once the lights are out.
Instead of trying to solve everything in your head, keep a notebook nearby. Write down:
things you need to remember;
worries you can deal with tomorrow;
questions you need to ask;
jobs that need doing.
Once they're written down, remind yourself that you don't have to solve them tonight. Tomorrow is soon enough.
If you can't sleep, don't battle with it
Lying awake becoming increasingly frustrated rarely helps.
If you've been awake for quite a while, consider getting out of bed for a short time.
Sit somewhere comfortable in low light.
Read quietly.
Listen to calming music.
When you begin feeling sleepy again, return to bed.
Try not to keep checking the clock.
Watching the minutes pass usually increases frustration rather than encouraging sleep.
Look at everyday habits
Sleep is affected by many small things. Ask yourself whether any of these might be making a difference:
caffeine later in the day;
alcohol in the evening;
long daytime naps;
pain or discomfort;
medication;
too little daylight or fresh air;
very little physical activity.
If you're unsure whether medication could be affecting your sleep, speak to your GP or pharmacist before making any changes.
Give yourself permission to change old routines
After a partner dies, some people feel they should keep everything exactly the same. Sometimes that's comforting. Sometimes it makes sleep much harder.
You might find it helps to:
change your bedtime routine;
use gentle background music or audio;
buy new bedding;
move furniture;
sleep in another bedroom for a while.
None of these changes mean you're forgetting the person you've lost. They simply mean you're trying to care for yourself.
Don't chase perfect sleep
Many people become anxious because they think they need eight uninterrupted hours every night. Very few people sleep perfectly all the time.
Aim for gradual improvement rather than perfection.
Even resting quietly is often more helpful than lying awake worrying about not sleeping.
Be patient with yourself. Sleep often improves slowly rather than suddenly.
During the day
The choices you make during the day often affect the following night.
Gentle exercise.
Fresh air.
Regular meals.
Meaningful activity.
Time with other people.
All of these help strengthen your body's natural sleep rhythm.
You don't have to exhaust yourself. Simply giving your day a little structure often helps your night become more settled too.
When should you ask for more help?
Speak to your GP if sleep problems continue for several weeks, are affecting your daily life, involve loud snoring or pauses in breathing, or seem linked to severe anxiety, depression or another health problem.
If you've become dependent on alcohol or medication to help you sleep, it's important to seek medical advice rather than trying to manage it alone.
Help is available, and you don't have to simply accept poor sleep as part of getting older.
Sources and further information
This guide provides general information and emotional support. It is not a substitute for medical, mental-health, legal or financial advice. The organisations listed have not reviewed or endorsed this guide.
Free Bereavement Guide
When Grief Feels Overwhelming: 10 Gentle First Steps for Later Life Bereavement
Free Download from www.olderpeople.co.uk/free-guide
Living With Loss: A Practical Guide to Bereavement in Later Life
Written by Jerry Livings
About OlderPeople.co.uk
OlderPeople.co.uk provides free, practical emotional wellbeing guidance for older people, families, friends and carers.
The information is written by Jerry Livings, a qualified UK counsellor and bereavement author.
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Document: Sleep Problems in Later Life: How to Switch Off at Night
Version 1.0 | July 2026 | OlderPeople.co.uk