Building Confidence to Meet New People

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Practical ideas for easing social nerves and enjoying new connections

Meeting new people later in life can feel daunting, especially if you’ve been alone for a while or have lost confidence in social situations.

You might worry about what to say, how to start a conversation, or whether you’ll fit in.

These feelings are normal and can improve with small, steady steps. Confidence grows from experience, not perfection.

• Acknowledge your nerves without judgement

  • Feeling anxious before meeting new people doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Most people feel the same, even if they don’t show it. Accepting that nervousness is part of the process helps you move forward despite it.

• Start with small, low-pressure contact

  • Begin by saying hello to neighbours, shop staff, or others you see regularly. These brief, everyday exchanges warm up your social confidence. From there, you can build toward longer chats or joining small groups.

• Join activities that match your interests

  • Shared activities make conversation easier. Look for local groups, classes, or volunteer opportunities connected to your interests — gardening, walking, crafts, reading, or music. It’s easier to connect when you already have something in common.

• Prepare simple conversation openers

  • Think of a few easy questions to start conversation, such as “Have you been coming here long?” or “What do you enjoy about this group?” Most people appreciate friendly curiosity, and it helps you feel more prepared.

• Don’t expect instant friendships

  • Good connections often develop slowly. Focus on enjoying the interaction itself rather than judging how it went. Each experience helps you practise and grow more comfortable.

• Notice your small successes

  • Every time you speak to someone new, you’re building confidence. Reflect on what went well — a smile, a short chat, a shared laugh. Recognising progress helps you feel more capable and encourages you to keep going.

• Balance social time with rest

  • Meeting people can be tiring at first. Give yourself time afterwards to unwind. Confidence builds best when you pace yourself and avoid overwhelm.

• Reflection questions

  • What types of social contact feel most comfortable for me right now?

  • Which activities or groups might match my interests?

  • What helps me feel more relaxed before or during conversation?

• If anxiety makes social contact difficult

  • If meeting people feels overwhelming or triggers panic, consider speaking with your GP or a counsellor. Support can help you develop confidence gradually and at your own pace.

• You’re not alone

  • Many older people find meeting new people intimidating at first. With patience and steady practice, it becomes easier to reach out, share time with others, and build meaningful new connections.

If you’d like to explore how professional support can help with emotional wellbeing in later life, click to visit the Counselling for Older People page.