Coping With the Death of a Loved One

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Practical ideas for understanding grief and finding your way through loss

Losing someone close can leave you feeling empty, confused, or detached from everyday life.

There is no single way to grieve, and no time limit on how long it takes.

This guide offers gentle suggestions to help you manage day-to-day and begin to find steadier ground.

• Allow grief to take its course

  • Grief affects everyone differently. You may feel sadness, anger, guilt, relief, or disbelief — sometimes all within the same day. There is no right way to feel. Try to allow emotions to rise and fall naturally without judging yourself.

• Take care of basic needs

  • In the first weeks after a loss, even simple tasks can feel hard. Focus on small essentials: eat, drink water, and rest when you can. Routine care for your body helps steady your emotions.

• Talk about the person and your memories

  • Sharing stories can ease the weight of loss. Talk with friends or family who knew the person, or write memories in a notebook. Speaking their name and recalling moments together helps you process what has happened.

• Accept that grief comes in waves

  • You may feel fine one day and overwhelmed the next. This is normal. Try to take each day as it comes and allow the waves to pass rather than fighting them. Over time, the waves usually become smaller and further apart.

• Avoid comparing your grief to others

  • People express loss in different ways. Some cry often; others feel numb. Some want company; others need quiet. Your path is your own. Accept what feels right for you.

• Stay connected to others

  • Even gentle contact helps. Reach out to people who are kind and patient listeners. Let them know you may not want advice — just company. Isolation can deepen sadness, so aim for small moments of connection.

• Find comfort in small rituals

  • Lighting a candle, visiting a favourite place, or listening to music they loved can help you feel close to the person who has died. Personal rituals give shape to grief and provide quiet moments of reflection.

• Look after your emotional energy

  • Avoid major decisions until you feel steadier. Keep daily routines as consistent as possible, and rest when you need to. Give yourself permission to do less.

• Reflection questions

  • What helps me feel most connected to the person I’ve lost?

  • Who can I talk to when I need comfort or company?

  • What small routines help me get through each day?

• If grief feels unbearable

  • If you feel unable to cope, are not eating or sleeping, or have thoughts of not wanting to go on, seek help immediately from your GP, a counsellor, or a trusted friend. Talking to someone trained to listen can bring relief and support.

• You’re not alone

  • Grief is a natural response to losing someone deeply important. With time, support, and gentle care, it’s possible to find steadier moments and begin to carry your memories with more peace than pain.

If you’d like to explore how professional support can help with emotional wellbeing in later life, click to visit the Counselling for Older People page.